If the chance to see and hear Gina Torres talk dirty to the camera is your idea of a randy dandy time, then I Think I Love My Wife might be just the thing for you. Otherwise, you might just find yourself thinking, “I Think I Hate This Movie.”

The basic premise is that banking executive Richard Cooper (strangely, played rather blandly by comedian writer/director Chris Rock) has grown bored and trapped by his perfect life. Well, actually, it’s not perfect. He does have a posh white-collar Manhattan job, a fab suburban house, a booty-licious teacher wife, and a model daughter. Only one problem: he and his wife no longer have sex. Worse yet, as Cooper self-centeredly sees it, his wife (who not only used to have sex with him, but even talked dirty, too—have I mentioned that already?) wears panties that are actually comfortable rather than, say, a thong.

So Cooper spends his days chastely (?) daydreaming about other women, all the while narrating his life (for our benefit, apparently) with pithy observations such as, “The most dangerous time for a married couple is when they’ve accepted that they’re not having sex.” Why? Because that’s when they’re free to start looking elsewhere. And out of the blue, thanks to the reappearance of childhood friend and sexpot Nikki Tru, Cooper’s daydreams start getting a lot less dreamlike. And it doesn’t help when philandering officemate George observes, “You take how long you’ve been together, divide by two—and that’s how long you’ve been breaking up.”

From there, Cooper is forced to choose between Tru lust and, well, safe/comfortable matrimony. I’m not sure Cooper’s behavior ever demonstrates much love. Along the way, he endangers both his marriage and his job, forcing his boss to advise, “You can lose a lot of money chasing women, but you’ll never lose women chasing money.” So how do things turn out for Cooper? I don’t think it’s any spoiler to observe that the title of the film is I Think I Love My Wife.

To give Rock credit, the film is competent enough in its storytelling and technical execution. He doesn’t reach too far as a second-time director (following up 2003’s Head of State), and he gets decent performances out of Kerry Washington as Nikki and Steve Buscemi as George. But the narration he writes for himself demonstrates a lack of confidence in his ability to tell the story he has written and filmed, particularly when the voiceover goes conspicuously AWOL as the story (that’s the story) reaches its climax. Rock’s direction of his own performance also seems geared more toward bland geniality than comedy—or anything else.

So there’s not much here that’s actually funny, poignant, or revealing. What’s the point, then? Also to his credit, Rock tries to paint a picture of a man who learns—almost too late—to appreciate what he’s got. And it’s a smart move, in a twisted sort of way, to persuade his audience that Cooper and his wife might have more sex in their future—and to use the fabulously attractive (if slummingly dirty-talking) Torres as bait to lure husbands across the country back into their homes and away from their “ho”s.

Still, my guess is that most of the people who go see this film are more likely to come away talking about Washington’s Nikki Tru—the men saying, “Now, Nikki—she was hot!” and the woman carping about what a conniving skank she was. Sorry, Mr. Rock; you’ve undermined your own case, I think.

Here’s one piece of pithy advice both George and Cooper failed to pass along: Most of the time, the thrill is in the hunt, not the kill; and in terms of marital fidelity, hunting elsewhere is as much a betrayal as finding meat. Sadly, Rock’s film presents us with a hunt that’s terribly arousing, and a return home that’s awfully dull by comparison.

I Think I Love My Wife is rated R “for pervasive language and some sexual content.” Check on the language—and it’s not just swear words. It’s all that dirty talk, too. As for the sexual content… Well, note that the rating isn’t awarded on the basis of nudity. That tells you something about both the contents of the movie and the direction in which the story heads. Still, Rock aims for high sexual arousal in pivotal scenes, and given that there’s no release of sexual tension within the movie itself, I’d say that the sexuality of this film is almost more dangerous than if there had been some sort of “payoff.” Men (or women) with lust problems should just stay away from this one.

Courtesy of local publicist, Greg attended a press screening of I Think I Love My Wife.