It’s not the most descriptive word in the English language and it is probably a cheat for a film critic, but it’s the word that kept pervading my thoughts as I sat through P2, the debut effort from writer/director Franck Khalfoun. The word is ridiculous. Although it may not seem very descriptive, it works wonders with this film to describe the action, dialogue, acting, and just about every other aspect of the film.

The action takes place almost exclusively in a New York City parking garage of a high-powered office building. The title actually refers to Level 2 of the garage, but the film takes place on all four levels.

It’s Christmas Eve and working late as usual is Angela Bridges. When she finally decides to leave work and go to her sister’s house for Christmas dinner, she heads down to get her car out of the garage—but it won’t start. Despite the attempts of overly-friendly garage attendant Thomas to jumpstart the car, Angela is forced to go back upstairs and call a cab. Thomas suggests she stay and have Christmas Eve dinner with him, but Angela would rather not.

Thomas isn’t prepared to take no for an answer, however, and winds up drugging Angela, dressing her up in a dinner gown, and preparing a romantic meal for the two of them that she can enjoy while her ankle is chained to the table.

Thomas is one of those super-nice villains who deludes himself into believing what he is doing to his captor is in her best interest; it’s his strange, sick way of courting the woman he has been stalking over the security monitors for who knows how long. He’s the kind of guy who would brutally murder the man who gets a little too friendly with Angela at the office Christmas party, right in front of her eyes. After all, she might not know it, but that’s what she really wants for Christmas.

Thomas is played by Wes Bentley, a young actor who I thought had a promising future after 1999’s American Beauty. Unfortunately, his career seems to have gone in the opposite direction, culminating in this disaster of a thriller. In a movie like this, the audience should be afraid of the villain, but Bentley’s Thomas comes off as a joke. I heard more laughs from this audience than I did at Fred Claus the night before—a condemnation of both films.

Former supermodel Rachel Nichols plays Angela, and although it is not an impressive performance—particularly in scenes with a good deal of dialogue—at least the audience isn’t laughing at her. In fact, in some scenes she looks genuinely terrified.

A lot of disbelief has to be suspended if you are going to take this plot seriously. There are a lot of coincidences that play into the plot twists—and I understand it is for dramatic effect, but I find it hard to believe that 9-1-1 would keep someone on hold for so long. However, by that point the movie had lost all connection to reality in my opinion anyway, so they might as well run with it.

P2 would have been better served had it either a) created a more convincing and terrifying villain; or b) gone the Grindhouse route and camped it up completely. As an actual, supposedly legitimate thriller, however, P2 gets laughed right out of the theater.

P2 is rated R for “strong violence/gore, terror and language.” The movie’s not a gorefest like, say, Saw or Hostel, but it makes full use of its few opportunities. Dog lovers may want to avoid this film.

Courtesy of a local publicist, Jeff attended a promotional screening of P2.